FOR THAT ONE.......

For that one smile
I die
For that one smile
I pine
Not always are we in the world of unknowns
Not always do we know what we are
As much as its an irony
For that one smile
I pine

For that one cosy corner
I yearn
For that one cuppa masala tea
I cry
There are days that go by in a flash
And what we do now is forgotten then…
This is the world which is today
For that one cosy corner
I yearn

For that one hug
I wait
For that one laugh
I pray
Time runs by without a wish
The seconds zip by with just a dash
For that one laugh with you my friend
I wait…

Not always in this clinical jungle
Are things wrong?
But never are things forever right
It may be the law of nature
I agree
But it gives me enough reason
To disagree

Am proud to be the Indian that I am
Because I hail from the land
Which is more of ‘you’ than the ‘I am’
Am proud of my land
That knows to emote
Am proud of my land
That is warmth untold.

For that one smile
For that one cosy corner
For that one cuppa masala tea
For that one hug
For that one laugh
I yearn…

AN ODE TO A FRIEND

We started off as simple friends over tea
As often admist the stressfuls days,
That was the only solace under the strands
Hi became a HIIIEEE and crossed bays..

Sometimes in my all my glory
While I used to be fiery,
She used to see me with her corner eye
And smile silently calling me for a tea..

Days went by
And our trivia found its share,
She became a good friend
We still loved our only place..

She started her new life
Beautiful as ever,
She was happy and it showed
And our trivia remained forever..

We shared
We cared,
In all the mess of life
We found a moment to scare the stare!

Today she is gone
Gone into the twilight,
Leaving behind
The only place we loved to share!

Miss you..

When life shows the way to ….oblivion

When I heard my friend talk after 21 looong years… all that I could hear/ see in the background of my mind was the the mischief, the pranks, the squeals of laughter when Rakesh(name changed) fell of the dear branch he was trying to hold on to, the efforts made by the boys to please the girls, small little races up the stairs and the exam time, the fun when one cheated and the other one screamed.. “Miss , miss.. he is cheating…” ; days of sheer pleasure and trivial nirvana, that, I long so much for all of them.. maybe just for a little time… till I can relish it some more….

Way back in the 80’s when the computer became a craze and an expensive commodity at home, there was a serial on DD1 , where the computer cum TV, would flash colours and take everyone to the future or the past as one desired… and we used to sit glued to it, as if, Artificial Intelligence was born with computers and the time machines were truly existent. Today , I wish I had one of the time machines, just to go and see my past , to go and see my friends and relive the trivial moments of Nirvana, may be change some ..

In all these moments, as children, we do not realize that life is actually taking us in the roller coaster rider of oblivion. Emotions, feelings , teenache are all felt and realized. The mind becomes the playground and all of us the players.. The mind is an amazing game, a game that amateurs should not try to play too often, because may be the impact of the game has far reaching impact on the very self…its takes you the realms of different emotions, emotions which are not easy to shake off..

Strong emotions of love and hate though seem to be different sides of the same coin, would be termed as the absence of the other according to me. Childhood love, puppy love as we call it, and the way it is said, “oh that’s puppy love, she will grow out of it.” Does one really grow out of it, or does one choose not to grow with it? There is a marked difference in the two.

If a person really does choose to grow without it, then it is a forceful behaviour of trying to get the mind to forget the first love of their life. What does the mind do in such a situation? As children, it becomes difficult to express the feeling of “Miss you” , so to deviate from the thought of not understanding the expression of miss you, the mental framework forces the child to wander…. 21 years down the memory lane… there is this vague realization on how the first love can influence a mind.. in very many words I would call that “A Beautiful Mind” of the person who experienced the first love.

Love in itself is an ecstatic feeling and when equations change, it takes a lot of time for the feelings to adjust and accommodate. But its just amazing how the mind flows like liquid and takes the shape of where it fits best fits and lives on.
21 years after meeting an old pal, reminiscents of the past have come back like the flash back in movies. For two days I have dwelled in the glory of those days, the glory of fun, frolic, laughter, love, hate, anger and childish pranks. Its been a “adrenalitic” time to live those days… just like going back to Narnia may be..
Fighting the demons of the mind and having frolic with the loved ones… haha..

A lot more to say.. much more to do…. May be in the next session of oblivion.. J

Ending this part, with a few lines for the friends I love, the friends who are my extended family.. I thank god that he gave all of us an opportunity to choose the extended family, without whom life would be dull, devoid of oxygen…

We chose to live,
The life of others
We are taught to live
The life of elders
In all this world of
Imbibing and Living
Glad that I have you
My pal

Glad that I could find you
Glad that I could hear you
Trust in the relation
Has brought us together again
In all this world of
Learning and Teaching
Happy that you are there
My pal……

Till the next part of oblivion.. live on.. life is fun

Priya

Luck ... by chance.. ??

LUCK.. BY Chance….

The movie name never got me to think so much as it does today. What is Luck and what does the absence of this word mean to any of us? The meaning of Luck as it stands is “Luck or fortuity is a belief in good or bad fortune in life caused by accident or chance which happens beyond a person's control”- seems more like a risk definition given in Insurance :)

What is chance? Risk…. so do we mean to say that living is a risk- we are living by chance- all this life is a chance. Chance- to do what? Chance to bring change.. chance to conquer…chance to just live??
Not sure actually. Why is that we make a comment- “That guy is so lucky- he just has everything in this world”. We may find a Vijay Mallaya lucky or a Sushmita Sen lucky. They have money, glitz, glamour and all, and they also are considered lucky by us, but do they consider themselves lucky? What would their definition of luck be then? Get richer, become famous yet again ( as i dont believe in more famous and less famous)- its like lycra- either you have it or you dont..

Does that mean we should refrain from using the word luck and this should be used only for purely technical usage like winning a lottery, - that’s definitely lucky, or surviving death- may be more than once- that’s lucky. But have we thought if that person who won the lottery, considers himself lucky or if the one surviving death thinks that he is lucky? In all this luck and ill luck, where is the commoner stuck?

We work like never before
We live like we want more
We sleep like we don’t want to be up
We rise as if we never were up

What are we gaining?
What are we doing?
We live by every day
When life isnt sure any day

Then why cry for luck
Its like crying foul on your buck
If its yours , it shall be
If its not, don’t presume it to be

If destiny is yours, it shall be
If it is not, we have to see
What we can make of what we have
And live like a run to save.

We spend more than 3/4th of our time sitting at our office desks, punching away letters on our keyboard and trying to make some money to have a decent livelihood. Have we thought what we actually want to do with our lives? May be not, may be yes, to some life may be being a workaholic, many take pride in it. It is quite a shame that, they would not be seeing their kids grow, hear their parents talk or even look at the blue sky above. There is no time for one to laze.
The lesser blessed mortals- may find us very lucky… we sit in an air conditioned room, we can see , we can talk and vola!! We even crib!! J

In all that I have seen today and the thoughts that raced in my mind today, all that I can figure out to tell my mind is that.. “HANG ON.. LIFE GOES ON…. “ “WHAT GOES AROUND.. EVENTUALLY HAS TO COME AROUND…”

India Shining.. or Burning Bright??

Hey I am back,
Wish i could say this with a lot of gust and in the old 'gung-ho' way.. but no.. i guess i am back on the blog after a loooooong spell of silence for various reasons and today i have got back to the blog for a reason. To all my friends, folks and pals out there who like to read my blog....i beseech each one of you to take out a little time to think of what we can give back to the nation for the little that it may have done.

I agree that it is a very easy task to say that 'what have the nincompoops sitting as lame ducks in the ministry of high officials done for us' , it is even more stress- busting, if i may put it that way, if we could actually thrash a few like crushed paper into the waste paper basket or see them flushed out of the toilets like toilet paper; but today, after carefully monitoring the progress of the "WAR ON MUMBAI" , i have neither been able to get the sights of my mind, nor flush the lame ministers and lambast them and feel better..

There is a poignant feeling of depression and responsibility that i am feeling towards this city and the country as a whole. It is a feeling that we, as in the educated class is silently taking the brunt and allowing more of it to happen. Fathom a situation of last evening, 2 well dressed, young militants start shooting at the famous 'Victoria Terminus'. It is one station where while during my project days, have counted the number of feet crossing a square foot within a minute. It was close to 30 feet crossing a square foot in a minute, so if i were to calculate the area of the station and the peak hours and the number of people who were there, we were much larger in number than the 2 "EQUIPPED AND ARMED" youngsters, but the sheer crowd and the mob could have just overpowered them!! Sad, but the mob, that rarely forgets its power in this country, except for times of strike and bull shitting, like the great Union Bandh, could do nothing last evening, but run. I agree that that is the first reaction, but coming to think of it, for the amount of time the young fearless warriors of death were there, the mob could have manifested itself into a huge pythonic creature, way beyond the imagination of anybody and over powered them with a little intelligence...(This is my personal thought, comments welcome) Unfortunately, most of us do not realise, or rather fail to see the Freudians theory of the mob culture. They are the strongest- you can never beat them.

It is time, we thought of why we do not manifest ourselves into ugly creatures to save the better world? The answer is simple and heart renching. We have been slaves way too far. Slaves to corruption, dishonesty and bureaucracy. We do not have the courage to stand up to it, because we find it easier to run and get stomped by it. Unfortunately, a few of us realise that the terrorists who have these attacks read the minds of people way too well before they plan their attacks. They know us better then we knowing ourselves.

Now coming to the fact that leave alone the common man who walks the streets of the country, our own ministers had to see/ discuss and then decide if they ever had to come to Mumbai. I again do not blame them here. They have the wicked potion of politics for breakfast, lunch and dinner and are consumed by the glory of power way too much to see the misery around them. I again blame the country and the people for not standing uptogether against these "unintelligent bunch of jokers" that we vote for every time into power.

Every rainy season in Mumbai and there is a PIL that is registered against the BMC for the miserable work that they have done. Has any one of us bothered to collect/ gather people and take this forward. NO. Today, we have advertisements indicating "Jago re" and a lot more of such satirical ways to instill some sort of petty guilt in the minds of people like me who never vote, because i strongly believe that there is NO ONE TODAY in the country who is worthy of my vote. Can any one voice that back. Yes.. i could - with a small article on my blog, may be tomorrow i shall write a Letter to the Editor.. like what i used to do in the name of Priyanka K, during the infamous days of my college. ;)) Just gaining a thrill to let the world know at last.. who Priyanka K was... hehe...

That was a vain attempt there to ease myself out. Nevertheless, todays incident in Mumbai is a lesson for the bunch of fools who get voted by us and an incident- that NONE of us should ever forget or forgive. I do not ask of you to become terrorists, but yes, the least we can do for our country is to stand as one and question our right!!

Hope you are able to grasp the wavelength of my feeling for the nation and hope and pray that we are able to act soon on some issues for the country

JAI HIND!!

Half full or half empty??

The one example that every personality development program will pick up with the garb of explaining positivity to the audience. "This glass on the table, how would you describe it?" The ones who consider themselves , the smart "....."- ( i leave that for you to fill up) jump at the answer stating - this is half full, with the expectation to hear, "superb- thats being positive, and the remaining few who sit and sigh at the usual , pattern of questions which are used in the PDPs...

Then spat came an explanation from the lecturer.. "the conotation to this glass is a lot different today. No situation in todays world can be so perfect that it is half full or half empty"... said the lecturer, this glass is "neither full nor empty"

Let me introduce the students and the lecturer to all of you. The students are none other than the hundred questions that fly around in my head and the lecturer is the culmination of my mind and heart. Many a times, i have asked myself this question, can any thing be so clear in todays world? Doubt it. Close to impossible. (Nothing is completely impossible in this world).

Life always takes us through this rugged terrain to explain to us what it means to lead a life which is "neither full or empty" - what is it that any human wants to gain out of this worldly living? Material benefits, lineage..... what? Either ways, all that a human ends up doing is get into this rat race and try to compete in the exodus... leading to irritation/ frustration and a lot of dissatisfaction...

Even though i want to stay away from this deluge of a race which can drown all of us... the force is so strong that i am being carried away by it.. and so is the case with each one of you who is reading this ...so as you read it .. procrastinate and try to realise the importance of yourself and your loved ones in this rat race, because for want of making it in the exodus, dont lose all in this deluge...

WAKE UP AND REALISE THAT LIFE IS NEITHER FULL NOR EMPTY... before you find yourself in a situation trying to figure out WHAT HIT YOU AND WHAT YOU MISSED!!!

GOOD LUCK...

Darling... do you dare... this is India shining

As i walk into the busy exodus of people in Churchgate, the smell of "tea - chocolate" tempts me to stand at the stall and check out what is being sold there.. the board reads.. tea- 5 rs, coffee- 5 rs, hot chocolate- 10 rs.. vow.. that gives the answer to the enticing smell... both the beverages being my favourites..

After a theekha snack of bhelpuri, my mind settles on the third option.. hot chocolate... and i walk towards the stall, blissfully unaware of the queue lined up to take beverages. I was given the nastiest glance by the aunty in white and it was then i realised that.. " oops.. mumbaichi queue" - one would dare not break the queue..

I pulled out my mumbai mirror and chose to wait rather than scamper into the 7.04 pm local to Andheri ... (all this was happening to me at 7.00 pm).. that i noticed a small boy dressed in a rather large baniyan , begging a man who was gloriously sipping his tea : behold.. the child was not begging him for alms.. he was begging him to give him the last sip of tea remaining in his cup...

As i closely looked at the child, i noticed that he had a sweet face, beautiful almond shaped eyes and is covered with dirt all over, scratching his head and begging with his other free hand... the man shooed him away but persistent to the hilt is what kept that child there... On one hand, here i am standing in the queue waiting for my turn, and there i see a child begging for a sip of tea. When the child realised that he had failed, he turned to large bin next to the stall, assured that the bin would not shoo him away and started collecting all the cups which had some leftovers..

He was making his own cocktail of beverages.. my heart went out to the child..

Behind me i had two well dressed, well educated gentleman sneering at the child, and telling themselves where our country is headed to... i thought.. " truly where is our country headed to..?"

Is it the childs fault that he is forced to rummage the bin to have his sip of tea? Is it the childs fault that he was born in poverty ? Is the childs fault that he is forced to have intoxicants in one hand and beg with the other??? It is sad, but this is the shocking fact of today, the pillars of tomorrow are wasting away in the streets with fevicol and ganga laden pieces of cloth, sniffing them intermittently to get a high and kill their hunger...

Having all the mind to question the men and finally deciding not to talk to the largest variety of nincompoops, i walked upto the stall and purchased 2 cups of hot chocolate and gave one to the child and holding the other one in my hand, i walked upto the platform to take the 7.13 local to Andheri.

Though i was glad that i had purchased a cup of hot chocolate for the child, a rather disturbing thought crossed my mind.. did i just spoil the child by getting him hot chocolate?? Would he be tempted to steal money for a cuppa hot chocolate or would he try to work for it... i was sure that he would choose the first option...

With my mind racing with thoughts of what i should have done/ what ought to be done... i got into the ladies first class, just to enter into another world of expressions, thoughts and struggles. I found my seat and leaned against the window listening to my ipod ( my best pal these days) and dozed off.. still happy that i made the childs night.. even if it is just a night...

All that came to my mind is .. "Oh darling.. yeh hai India... Mera Bharat Mahan"

Till next time.. happy reading