Sunday, February 28, 2010

When life shows the way to ….oblivion




When I heard my friend talk after 21 looong years… all that I could hear/ see in the background of my mind was the the mischief, the pranks, the squeals of laughter when Rakesh(name changed) fell of the dear branch he was trying to hold on to, the efforts made by the boys to please the girls, small little races up the stairs and the exam time, the fun when one cheated and the other one screamed.. “Miss , miss.. he is cheating…” ; days of sheer pleasure and trivial nirvana, that, I long so much for all of them.. maybe just for a little time… till I can relish it some more….

Way back in the 80’s when the computer became a craze and an expensive commodity at home, there was a serial on DD1 , where the computer cum TV, would flash colours and take everyone to the future or the past as one desired… and we used to sit glued to it, as if, Artificial Intelligence was born with computers and the time machines were truly existent. Today , I wish I had one of the time machines, just to go and see my past , to go and see my friends and relive the trivial moments of Nirvana, may be change some ..

In all these moments, as children, we do not realize that life is actually taking us in the roller coaster rider of oblivion. Emotions, feelings , teenache are all felt and realized. The mind becomes the playground and all of us the players.. The mind is an amazing game, a game that amateurs should not try to play too often, because may be the impact of the game has far reaching impact on the very self…its takes you the realms of different emotions, emotions which are not easy to shake off..

Strong emotions of love and hate though seem to be different sides of the same coin, would be termed as the absence of the other according to me. Childhood love, puppy love as we call it, and the way it is said, “oh that’s puppy love, she will grow out of it.” Does one really grow out of it, or does one choose not to grow with it? There is a marked difference in the two.

If a person really does choose to grow without it, then it is a forceful behaviour of trying to get the mind to forget the first love of their life. What does the mind do in such a situation? As children, it becomes difficult to express the feeling of “Miss you” , so to deviate from the thought of not understanding the expression of miss you, the mental framework forces the child to wander…. 21 years down the memory lane… there is this vague realization on how the first love can influence a mind.. in very many words I would call that “A Beautiful Mind” of the person who experienced the first love.

Love in itself is an ecstatic feeling and when equations change, it takes a lot of time for the feelings to adjust and accommodate. But its just amazing how the mind flows like liquid and takes the shape of where it fits best fits and lives on.
21 years after meeting an old pal, reminiscents of the past have come back like the flash back in movies. For two days I have dwelled in the glory of those days, the glory of fun, frolic, laughter, love, hate, anger and childish pranks. Its been a “adrenalitic” time to live those days… just like going back to Narnia may be..
Fighting the demons of the mind and having frolic with the loved ones… haha..

A lot more to say.. much more to do…. May be in the next session of oblivion.. J

Ending this part, with a few lines for the friends I love, the friends who are my extended family.. I thank god that he gave all of us an opportunity to choose the extended family, without whom life would be dull, devoid of oxygen…

We chose to live,
The life of others
We are taught to live
The life of elders
In all this world of
Imbibing and Living
Glad that I have you
My pal

Glad that I could find you
Glad that I could hear you
Trust in the relation
Has brought us together again
In all this world of
Learning and Teaching
Happy that you are there
My pal……

Till the next part of oblivion.. live on.. life is fun

Priya